The other day on Facebook I saw another one of those “go here, do this and post it as your status” things. Generally I ignore them, but I was bored so I followed along. The instructions were to go to UrbanDictionary.com and type your first name in the search box, then copy the first returned definition and paste it into your status.
I went, I searched, I received:
“One of the most popular names for a newborn girl in 1970. Most Lisas are hot.”
Nice. I do like where that one is going, but as I went further down the page, they got even better.
“An intelligent and sexy female with LUSCIOUS physical features. Usually attracts weird guys named David who do absolutely NOTHING for her, but she still remains independent.”
LUSCIOUS, huh? That’s new. And I’ve never even been hit on by anyone named David. Weird.
“A freakin AMAZING chica…anything but unattractive. Hell she is totally far from that. Can we say delelctible….Loves Chinese food and tattoos. Loves moths doing there own kamakaze suicide attempts into flames. Usually a very good speller. And loves her little, should be, foreign car. And is always ready for a fun time.”
(I corrected some of the spelling errors because, ironically, as the author put it, a Lisa is “Usually a very good speller.”) This definition is mostly true. I do love Chinese food, tattoos, my little foreign car, and fun! The moth thing, though… that’s just creepy.
This next one is that one I most wish was true:
“An extremely smart and sexy female with great hair and a great face. Nice, sweet and generous are words that go along with Lisa. She is funny and giving. Not a slut by any means but does like to have a good time. Always ready to party and her phone is always ringing. She will even fly to another state for a house party. She is self confident and blessed with good genes. She just has it all; all other girls are extremely jealous of her.”
Don’t be jealous. I’ve never even been invited to a house party in MY state.
Lastly, this is the sweetest one:
“Someone who has a great zest for life, always remain[ing] calm and collected and able to be in control of situations. Has an unprecedented sense of humor. It is rare to cheer everybody up in different situations, yet she always manages to do it. Moreover, she is the life and soul of a party, which makes her extremely sociable. She is not quick-tempered, in fact deep down, she is really an amiable person. Lisa has a very unpredictable lifestyle, for this reason she spends a lot of time exercising. Intelligent and very focused. Strong set of character, which makes her stand out from the rest. Never one who gives up. Extremely beautiful. Great lover.”
Which reminds me I should head to the gym. Also where are all of these parties I’m not being invited to? Don’t they know I’m the life and soul of the party?
So tell me, what does Urban Dictionary know about you?