As Seen on TV

I was searching for some meal-planning inspiration tonight and decided to – now brace yourselves, this is brilliant – look through my cookbooks.  No way, right?  I have several cookbooks, I like to look through them and get ideas, even if I don’t actually follow the recipes, and apparently although I didn’t realize it until tonight, many of the books on my shelf are by Food Network stars.  Embarrassing.

Now, I love Jamie Oliver. I’m so sad that they put his new (canceled) show on Saturday mornings.  Who watches cooking shows on Saturday mornings? I can’t make fun of Jamie, in fact I love his book, especially his recipe descriptions.  Like this one:

Awww… OK, maybe it’s a little corny, but it’s better than Tyler.  Here’s Tyler’s book:

And this is one of his Tylerisms, which used to be endearing, but are now just freaking annoying. His curry? It’s mental. Also hypnotic. Really?

And speaking of mental, please observe the section on cocktails featuring such tasty items as the Happy Ending and  Moist Towelette. Please pour me another Moist Towelette. Eew. Even the fact that it has gin in it doesn’t help.

And then there’s Giada.  Hey, has anyone noticed that Giada is pretty, and has nice boobs big, white teeth?

Yeah, she won’t let you forget that either.  There may be some lovely recipes in this book, but the recipe to photo of Giada ratio in the book seems to be 1:1.

I also discovered a Rachel Ray cookbook in the cabinet, I don’t remember ever buying it, but there it is.  Frightening.  But don’t worry, my real favorites are this one, this one, and this one.  Not a TV star in sight there.


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