Two Steps Back

I’ve been doing quite well, I thought, coping with being alone in the house every night while Luke is at work.  I used to be such a ninny about being in the house alone.  I’ve never actually seen Psycho, but the shower scene is iconic enough that I couldn’t even take a shower if I was alone in the house.   Now I can shower and even sleep with the lights off!  It’s quite an accomplishment for me.  Until last night when it all changed.

I haven’t watched a scary movie in years, the last one I remember even partially watching was one of the Scream movies and that was under great duress, and even then I “watched” it with a blanket over my head most of the time.  I used to love gory, scary movies, now I get the creeps watching CSI.  I think I have a mind like like a horror story writer where I can imagine all sorts of horrible, terrifying, nasty scenarios in my head.  It all seems to real and seeing it on the screen makes it that much more awful.  The pictures just won’t leave my mind and then when I’m all alone in the dark, they come back and I imagine that I’m not alone.  That someone is watching me through the windows or breaking in through the basement door.

So last night I was browsing the Netflix website to see what I could watch from their “Watch Instantly” feature.  [A little side note here – if anyone has a Netflix subscription, you really need to check this out. With most subscriptions, you can watch up to 24 hours of streaming media per month for free from the Netflix website.  All of the movies aren’t available to watch instantly, but a lot of smaller films and some TV series are.  It’s been quite handy for me, seeing as how the computer is in the studio/office where I spend my evenings.]  So anyhow, I was looking for something to watch while I was cutting fabric for new purses and saw that season one of Heroes was available to watch instantly.  Are you laughing at me yet?  Because, yes, Heroes kept me from sleeping last night.

I had heard from everyone that this was a show I should see.  I figured that I might as well get on the bandwagon with everyone else and see what the show was all about.  I started season one playing on Netflix and was instantly lured in.  Episode one was interesting and suspenseful.  I had to know what happened with each of the characters.  When episode one ended and Netflix asked if I’d like to watch episode two, I said heck yeah!  Well… episode two featured a man with the top of his head sawed off, two (three? not sure) men killed with a hook, I think, and stuffed into the trunk of a car, and a woman killed, I’m not sure how, I looked away from the screen because it looked like she was impaled on a wall.  What the heck?  This is prime time television?  I should stick to Christmas cartoons.

I barely finished the end of episode two and then saw Luke off to work.  I wanted to finish the purse I was working on so after he left I went back into the studio and sat down at the sewing machine, which means that my back was to the window.  I was totally freaked out.  I was convinced that someone was watching me through the window.  I couldn’t concentrate and I was too creeped out to finish.  I climbed into bed with Molly and my book and was absolutely sure that I heard the basement door open.  Then I cursed myself for oiling the hinge on the basement door yesterday morning because otherwise I would have heard it open for sure.  It doesn’t help that Molly picks up on my paranoia and starts looking around suspiciously, as if she’s heard something.  And then the evil cat keept making noise out in the living room.  Lordy.  I’m a mess.  Thanks a lot Heroes!  The twisted thing is that I want to know what happens for the rest of the season.  Maybe I’ll read the recaps on Television without Pity and spare myself the terror.



  1. When Jason was in night school for the first 5 years we were married, he would often pull all-nighters at his office leaving me and my overactive imagination home alone. I used to have to move large furniture in front of our bedroom door and even booby trap the hallway so that the intruder would have to make a lot of noise getting to me. I would lie in bed then for an hour or so and plan out my escape from our second floor bedroom. 🙂


  2. I am sitting here laughing and shaking my head because I could have written this post. I was forbidden to play “Bloody Mary” in elementary school because I would have nightmares and not much has changed.

    We should swap war stories sometime!


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