Dear Mother Nature,

Quit it. Seriously. Do you think it’s funny to cover my ankles with poison ivy the last week in September? It’s FALL! Poison ivy is a summer annoyance. And not only is it horribly freaking itchy, I have a wedding to go to on Saturday. Now how is everyone supposed to concentrate on how pretty I look when my ankles are all red and puffy? Oh sure, maybe I should wear socks when I walk in the woods, but shut up. It’s bad enough I have to put shoes on. Socks are for winter. And poison ivy is for SUMMER. You may think you’re clever, but you’re not, funny lady.

Yours truly,

PS: Hey, thanks for the full moon last night, that was pretty.

PPS: If you have a chance, could we please have some rain? I’m tired of watering my mums. Thanks.



  1. 2 things: First, you already stole my first comment of wearing SOCKS in the woods. Duh! You barefoot people make me crazy.

    And second, You are supposed to water mums? Crap, that explains the death of my recent mum. Where is the rain???


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